It's Tom DeLay's Fault!

Burn him!!

Seems that the ethics charge relating to not reporting his travel within 30 days has caused a bit of a stir at The Magic Kingdom. Lots of Representatives are crawling out of the woodwork to report their travel - just a tad late.

Take for example Steny Hoyer (where do politicians get these names?) Mr. Hoyer is the Minority Whip in the House, and it turnes out that he had 12 trips that happened to slip his mind. One of them was back in 1997!

And just what does the good Whip have to say about that? According to his spokeswoman, they had to search their files because of "Republicans doing opposition research to deflect from their own ethical issues."

Got it? Those poor Dems didn't do anything wrong. They're just being forced to defend themselves because of the Republican's unethical behavoir.

What a bunch of fuckwits. All of 'em.

We're Bad! Officially!

What do Sudan, Rwanda, Zimbabwe and the United States have in common?

Well, according to Amnesty International, we're the worst human rights violators on the planet! In fact, according to that totally unbiased and neutral organization, we're pretty close to being Number One!!

The reasons for this? Well, let's see - there's Guantanamo Bay, we Neandrathals still have the death penalty, we don't prostrate ourselves before Mother Europe and, despite the best efforts of our National Newspapers and other "news" organs, we never genuflected before Stalin.

How dare we?!

We even had the temerity to take umbrage over being attacked. Just how f'kin dare we?

Amnesty International made this decision about us while working with the International Committee of the Red Cross - you know, the guys that made sure the Nazis made it to South America after WWII?

Dick Chaney is offended. I get a bad case of the giggles.

Memorial Day

To all my friends who visit here - but most especially to those who are on active duty or are veterans - I wish you a safe and peaceful Memorial Day.

You know better than anyone that this day isn't just an excuse for sales, or the unofficial start to the summer. This day is set aside for remembering those who never came home.

"They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them."

A Troop Tribute

I mentioned earlier about Wayne who has a son in the Marines over playing in the Kitty Litter. Well, this Wayne has set up a site where anyone can stop by and say "Hi" to his boy Dave Szczek.

If you get the chance, stop by here and let one of our Marines know that the MSM doesn't speak for us - they all have our love, prayers and support.

Wayne's website has been a bit dormant lately, but check here every now and then to see if he's fired up the Selectric.

A Great Tribute

If you have a minute to spare today or tomorrow, have a look at this site.

Wayne of WaynesWorld sent it to me - his young Marine is in the sandbox at the moment - and I thought it was beautiful.

Don't forget - tomorrow the flags go up at 0800 and come down at sunset. If you want to check on the most accurate time, go to the Naval Observatory.

If anyone has any questions about how to display the flag, leave a comment please!

Another Compromise?

I see in today's fish wrapper that another compromise might be happening in the Senate.

The Senate Majority Leader, John McCain, is going to give leaders of the Dems access to those Bolton docs - - wait - - you mean John McCain isn't the Majority Leader?

It's about time that boy STFD and STFU.

Hillary in '08?

Another poll has conservatives coming out in droves to support Hillary. Personally, if the Dems were to run a woman I'd rather see them go back to their core and run Babs Streisand or Randy Rhodes - maybe even Jeanine Garofalo.

As it stands now, though, my own personal favorite ticket for the Dems in '08 would be Barak Obama for Pres - with Robert Byrd as Vice Prez.

Yep - it just keeps me warm at night thinking about it.

Amnesty Cominterm

Loking at some of the stories out there about the AmnestyIinternationale report on how terrible we are at Gitmo. I wonder - is that the only part of that island they looked at?

Must be. Fidel could never be accused of violations. I mean, with his health care? Of course, that doesn't cover the AIDS/HIV people who are locked away in camps, but that's OK, right?

Edward Albert Heimberger

Eddie Albert, 99, passed away at his home on Thursday, apparently peacefully. I sincerely hope so. He'd put up with enough pain and suffering in his life - and most of it wasn't directly his.

You see, during WWII, Eddie alber joined the Navy. When the Marines landed on Iwo Jima in February of 1945, he was a petty officer operating a landing craft taking the Marines to the island - and bringing the wounded and dead back to the ships. I have seen him reminiscing about that period and what really stuck in his mind was the Marines who refused evacuation so that others could go first. When he returned to get those Marines, they were gone.

Petty officer Albert was awarded a Bronze Star with V for his heroism under fire for those "taxi runs".

Most baby boomers will remember his for "Green Acres", but my kids will always know him for "Escape to Witch Mountain."

On Going Blind

So - Viagra, Levitra and Cialis are all being accused of making anywhere between 14 or 38 men go blind. Out of what? 20-some million who've taken it? That has got to rank right up there with the number of Asian deaths from bird flu, hasn't it?

I imagine by now all the Mother Superior jokes and shaving of the palms jokes have already been run. If you can think of a new one, insert it here (pun intended):

________________________________________

Just What I Needed.

Something to just piss me the fuck off on this, of all weekends.

So the American Gold Star Mothers Inc. rejects a woman whose son died in combat because she's not a U.S. citizen. The organization's justification for this? "There's nothing we can do because that's what our organization says: You have to be an American citizen," national President Ann Herd said Thursday. "We can't go changing the rules every time the wind blows."

"Every time the wind blows?" Give me a f'kin break. Here we have a woman who played by the rules - she went thru the months and months of bureaucratic bullshit, not to mention the hundreds upon hundreds of dollars, to become a legal resident of this country. And this is what she gets?

I wasn't aware that, had my own son served and been killed, my wife of 31 years wouldn't be able to join either, since she's also a Green Card holder. Hell, Boy Wonder holds 3 citizenships - they most likely would deny that he served.

Just when was the last time this organization changed its rules? Was the wind blowing then?

We are being beat to death with "diversity" and "multicultural" and how we're supposed to be "inclusive." It's about damn time that this org. wake up and realize that, if her son can give his life and be buried in a military cemetary with full honors, then his mother is a Gold Star Mother whether they like it or not.

Oooohh - I'm pissed!

About Gold Star Moms

Lest anyone get the wrong idea from the post above, I hold Gold Star Mothers in the highest esteem. Nothing can compare with the loss a mother feels for her child.

What I am talking about is the corporation claiming the name Gold Star Mothers. It's their bureauocracy and hide-bound stubbornness that I take umbrage with.

Just a Thought ... ...

Those photos of Saddam in his Y-Fronts (briefs to the uninitiated) - aren't they just a little too handy for those who want to pour shit the U.S. Military? Hasn't everyone been really quick to blame the photos on the people guarding him, saying how this violates the Geneva Convention, etc, etc?

Wouldn't it be a real shock if people found out the photos were taken and spread around by his own lawyers who are looking for any angle they can find in order to defend this piece of shit?

Of course, they wouldn't do something like that, would they? I mean, Ramsay Clark (the Hero of the Revolution) wouldn't do that, would he?

In a f'kin heartbeat!

The Inclusive Left

Hizzoner, Emperor of the Sith, has a cute little tale about the tolerance, inclusivity and all-around wonderful people of the Left.

Specifically, his tale is about a college professor in Brooklyn who ... ... well, I'd hate to spoil the story for you. Suffice it to say that the Left in general, and CUNY in particular, can bask in the knowledge that they are the ones who know what's best for us.

What's In a Word?

Something I'm reading mentions the old 'pirates' - you know, hijackers, kidnappers, robbers, etc. Back then, most of them were called "Freebooters."

Or, in French, that would be "Filibustiers." Yep - I can see that.

Eason Jordan in Skirts

I saw this at the Sailor's site - where the head of the journalist's union, some tart named Linda Foley, did an Eason Jordan. Accuse the American military of deliberately using journalists in war zones as target practice. Like Jordan, she does not only with no evidence but without even allowing for follow-up interviews.

The text of her main quote, which I got from the Washington Times, is: "Journalists, by the way, are not just being targeted verbally or politically," Miss Foley said Friday in St. Louis. "They are also being targeted for real, in places like Iraq. What outrages me as a representative of journalists is that there is not more outrage about the number, and the brutality, and the cavalier nature of the U.S. military toward the killing of journalists in Iraq."

She then went on to "clarify" her statement by adding that, "I was careful of not saying troops, I said U.S. military."

Now, just how that little bit of clarification explains anything I haven't figured out yet. If the U.S. Military is shooting journalists (no offence as far as I'm concerned) and it's not the troops, well, I'll be buggered if I can understand it. WAIT - I HAVE IT!! She must mean that there's DoD civilians over there who are trying to bag their limit!! That explains everything, right?

I think her comparison with Eason should be completed - she should be fired before she even has a chance to quit.

Oh, yeah - to all (each?) of you wondering about my current state of play, I feel good enough to do something spectacularly stupid again - but I hope I don't.

Reality is Highly Overrated

After two days spent thinking I was still lean and mean (wrong on both counts) today has been spent horizontal. This is the type of day the laptop was made for.

To give you some idea, I didn't even do the dogshit patrol today. Nothing. Watched some TV and read. Which reminds me -

If you have any interest in history, I have the perfect book for you. It's To Rule the Waves by Arthur Herman, and it traces the English Navy from its roots in the 16th century to present. It doesn't have as many maps as I would like to refer to, but it's eminently readable; not in the least a "textbook." I had thought myself reasonably well read on the subject of the Royal Navy, but I have learned a great deal from this. I highly recommend it.

Meanwhile, I'm hoping that, by tomorrow, I'll be able to stand erect for a change and be able to bend both down and up - not just down. I should be able to let you know by morning.

Maybe.

Another "No Blog" Day

Yeah, well, sue me, OK? Cut my pay, shave my head and send me to Nam.

After yesterday's fun & frolic with the garage, today I got up to find that the Devil Dog, who stays outside at night, went shopping. The gate that Boy Wonder and I "fixed" earlier this week came down in a wind storm last night, so the pup went wandering the neighborhood. Whth the homing and road sense that Siberian Huskies have, I was shocked he actually found his way home.

So, off to Lowes for some 6" spikes, replaced said gate and beat it into submission (I hope).

Was that enough for me after yesterday? Nah! I had to get out the tools of ignorance and started painting the fence. Halfway thru it started to rain, so that ended the excitement for today.

Right now I'm flat out and planning on staying this way for several days. The gate ain't going anywhere (I hope!!) so the painting can wait.

I try to limit my stupidity to 5 or 6 acts per week. Less if they're spectacular. This week's deserve fireworks.

Regrets, I've Had a Few

You know how it is - you get a wild hair up your ass and start a project that you just know you're going to regret. Yep. I sure did/do.

With both of our kids living in the general area and us having the only house, we've ended up as the dumping ground - and I'm sick of it. It got to the point that I couldn't even walk into the garage. So I had to fix that.

Now I'm going to relax with the help of Mr Pfizer and his buddies.

S&G - May the Farce be With You

I have to start with the Winston Salem Urinal today.

Vinnie da Fox is catching shit from Je$$e Jack$on about his saying that his Mexicans will take jobs "that even Blacks won't take." Not only will Vinnie not retract that idiotic bit of verbosity, but yesterday he actually said that he is "eager to work with minority groups in the United States to improve labor conditions." Well, excuse the fuck outta me! How about Vinnie worry about the way his "government" is grinding his own people into the dirt before he starts screwing around in any other nation?

For the first time in 21 years or so, a North Korean ship pulled into harbor in South Korea to pick up cargo. I just couldn't miss the aptness of this - the ship is picking up 200,000 tons of fertilizer that the South has donated to them. 200,000 tons of shit. Yep - I love it.

Meanwhile, on the OpEd pages, we have someone named Marianne Means praising Kitty Kelley for her book on Bush, noting what courage it took for Kelley. Somehow she seems to miss the point that the book is a piece of fiction, not biography, which slots it right in whth all the other "biographies" Kelley has written.

Tom Teepen has had a bellyful of all the people - especially "the White House" picking on poor Newsweek for what he says is, despite the riots, etc, "was just a garden-variety error." Seems anyone who expressed anything but praise for Newsweek are all those far right-wingers who are trying to tear down the MSM. Paranoia strikes deep. Into your life it will creep, right, Tommy??

Finally for the OpEd, in today's editorial, the Urinal says that Bush enjoyed his dancing in Tbilisi that he's still dancing around his record. When he congratulated the soldiers and Marines for helping the people build their societies from the rubble - AHA! That must be nation building! No wonder America is stuck in the "Iraqi quagmire." They said it, not me!

"Mean Dean?" Nah

Isn't it a wonderful thing how quickly the Dems forgot that they ran from Howie Dean in last year's primaries because he's insane?

So, while he's not pre-judging Tom DeLay, Howie is volunteering to put the handcuff on him and take him to a Texas prison. Next, since Howie claims to be a doctor, he gets a real giggle out of Limbaugh's addiction to pain drugs - so much so that he has to do his own little impersonation of Rush snorting cocaine. What a really caring medical professional!

Is Dean being mean? Nah - it could be just his insanity continuing to surface. Personally, I think Howie, been into the Maui Wowee.

Still Alive & Well

I think the most strenuous thing I did this weekend was put the flags out for Armed Forces Day. Other than that it's been pretty much a write-off.

Watched the White Sox finally drop a game to the Cubs, then watched the grand kids play in the swimming pool.

Oops - I tell a lie - I barbecued burgers last night! That must have been more work than the flags. The rest of the time has been laid up & medicated, but it seems to have done the trick. I can pretty much tolerate life again (in very small doses).

I figure my Blogmother would be about the only one who missed me, so I better get my shit together and produce some dynamite stuff soon.

Just as soon as I get paid for this!

Bigotry

The Dem/Lib/Soc/Commie sector of our society always takes great pleasure in accusing everyone who doesn't agree with them of bigotry.

Thomas Sowell has an article that really brings the bigotry of the left into sharp focus. Whether it's the Southern Democrats of the 50's and 60's or the ones today who prevent others from voting, the Democrats really haven't changed much over the years.

Go read Mr Sowell - he puts it much better than I can.

At Least I Know I'm Alive!

After yesterday's fun and frolic with the gates, today is a recovery day. Pain is good. Pain tells you that you're alive.

Pain also tells you that the damn drugs aren't doing the job you've hoped for.

Unless I get a rush of blood to the head later, today is a very light blogging day - besides, the Cubs and White Sox play today and it's on TV here in North Carolina. Next best thing to heaven for an old Chicago boy!

Pet Pet Peeves

I know that just about everyone and their dog (pun intended) have posted this, but that's no reason for me to miss out!

TOP 10 DOG PEEVES ABOUT HUMANS
1. Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not funny at all!
2. Yelling at me for barking ... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG!
3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose ... stop it!
5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
6. The slight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo -- what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
7. Taking me to the vet for the "big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
9. Dog sweaters. Hello? Haven't you noticed the fur?
10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.

That last one makes me think of Mel Gibson, Lethal Weapon, and Milk Bones.

Another Graphic

I have crap like this all over my computers. I have no idea where this came from, but it's too good to keep to myself:



I'll have a look to see what other visual wonders I can find.

The Fencing is Done!

Boy Wonder and I got started around Noon. The gate is a double to let a car/truck into the back yard. Four new hinges, pailings spaced out to allow for wind flow - tested out beautifully.

Now we just have to wait for a good blow to come through to see if our handiwork actually works.

In the meantime, my body is what you could call well & truly f'ked, so the rest of the day will be spent horizontal (supine? prone? Indigo - make your own decision) position with a fistfull of Happy Pills.

What's the Big Deal?

It was nice to take a day off yesterday. For no other reason than, "Screw it. I feel like actually doing something."

Reading around the web in general, and it's pretty apparent that the vast majority of Americans don't understand what the big deal is with the riots and deaths over the Newsweek's bit of creative writing.

Most folks wouldn't think twice about throwing away an old Bible or a "Good News" New Testament that had been handed out to them. To them, the Bible's just a book. They might think it a good book - they might even think of it as The Good Book - but in the end, it's just a book.

Now look at the Quran. According to the Muslim faith, this is the literal word of God, which was given to Mohammed in dreams or trances. Therefore, it's not "just a book". It is something to be revered and protected. That goes for every single copy of it.

About the only thing I can think of that would compare to the desecration claimed in Newsweek would be if someone went into a Synagogue and wiped their ass with a Torah scroll.

Get the picture?

Now, this view of the Quran is not something new or a big surprise to people who have travelled through those lands.

I guess the MSM's new standard for news is: Well, we can't prove it happened, but we can't prove it didn't - run with it!!

A Hypothetical

Here's one for all you history buffs:

In the 1630's Oliver Cromwell mulled over joining one of the colonies in North America. As it turned out, Cromwell led the Round Heads over Charles I and became Lord Protector of England.

What would the world be like if Cromwell had've pissed off for the States? Considering what an insufferable prick Charles I was (until he became ten inches shorter - see Monty Python), would it have made any difference at all?

These are the kind of things that keep me awake at night. I need better drugs.

Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch

Back here I was talking about Elder (Sgt) Seay and the Marine House in Canberra, Australia. Just about all of us there were Sgt or above, but having Mike with us was a special blessing.

Every couple of weeks or so, some of the Mormons (who were in Australia as part of their missionary work), would come to the door.

As soon as we saw them coming, we checked to see if Mike was home. If so, we tossed his ass out of the rack, threw some cold water in his face, let him light up a smoke and try to move through the hangover haze. There he was - socks & jocks, unshaven, hungover and with a smoke hanging out of his mouth.

As these fresh-faced, clean cut Mormons in their white short-sleeved shirts knocked, Mike would open the door. As they introduced themselves, Mike would say "Hi, I'm Elder Seay, and these Marines here already got their asses saved. Bye."

I truly loved that man!

Real Estate Values

Since it's pretty late in the day, I figure most will miss this, but ... ...

I came across this opinion piece today about Fort Worth, Texas, talking about fossil fuel in the ground there and how it's extraction is done without upsetting the city.

Oklahoma City is like that - they used to have a functioning oil well under the state capitol building. Even now, go to the northern Los Angeles / Hollywood / Beverly Hills area of California and look around. Other than the petroleum bubbling up naturally around the area of Rancho La Brea, you wouldn't know that some of the buildings around you were just empty shells covering wells.

Since the existing oil pipeline was put in place years ago, it has withstood everything nature can throw at it. Even the caribou there know that if they're near the pipe, they're safe from humans. Several herds have taken advantage of this for their birthing grounds during their migration over the Brooks Range.

So the Green Weenies think ANWR will be ruined? These are the same brain farts who discovered that clean air was bad for global warming, since it lets all that heat in!

The worst eco-crime in history took place over ten years ago and the Greens ignored it! They F'kin Ignored It! Over 700 oil wells blown open by Saddam and the silence from Greenpeace wan f'kin deafening.

The Fencing is Postponed

Because my drugs finally got here from the VA, so it's rest time.

I was kicked back, listening to some old Jimmy Buffett, when it reminded me of someone I was with at the Marine House in Australia back in the early 70's.

This guy's name, for the sake of argument, we'll call Mike Seay and he told us something he swore was true (and as he was an Elder from Utah we had to believe him, right?)

Anyway, he was in the middle of his divorce when he was brought before the judge for hitting his soon-to-be used-to-be.

The judge asked what he had to say, so Mike said, "Well, yer honor, she broke my heart so I broke her jaw."

The judge shook his head and said "I fine you $90.00." Mike dug around in his jeans and said, "Hell, judge - I got that right here in my pocket."

The Judge then roared, "And ninety days! You got that in your pocket too?"

I May Have a Use

Other than as a bad example.

Those wonderful, light zephyrs that waft thru North Carolina has torn the shit out of my fencing and gates, so in theory Boy Wonder and I are going to attempt the fixing.

This should be good for a laugh!!

If Language Offends, Skip This

"Clearly our story was seized on and used to stir passions there and we feel very badly about that."

That's from Newsweek's Dan Klaidman about their creating their own story about the Koran. What the Fuck did they think was going to happen?

And since most of the world's presses are controlled by their governments, pretty much the entire Muslim world believes that the story was retracted because George Bush told them to.

Now, let's combine this with the latest from the al Qaida website, calling for the Faithful to destroy the followers of the Cross.

Do you think this is coincidential?

Newsweek, it's owners at The Washington Post, the NYT - these rags have been willing to print anything - and I mean anything - if they think it will hurt those who don't have their vision. Do you think they give a shit about what they've done?

As far as these leftist are concerned, as long as they feel good, fuck a bunch of Arabs. I lived in Pakistan. I know some people there. I loved the country, the people and the culture. After this episode, I wouldn't blame them if they never believed us again.

! ! ! ! !

STOP

THE

FREAKING

PRESSES!

Newsweek has retracted their little fiction about the Koran being desecrated! All you dead guys - come on back - they didn't really mean it. Just a joke, you know. I mean, how could they possibly have forseen the reaction Muslims would have had to that story.

After all - Newsweek pisses on the Bible weekly and no one in their circles sees anything wrong with that!

Maybe Later

Lethargic. Short attention span. Can't be bothered.

Maybe things will pick up later. Go read Indigo Insights.

Tsunami Diplomacy

It's been a long time since I've mentioned anything by Mark Steyn, but this column is a must.

The Big Squid wrote about it earlier today, so you might want to have a look at his outtakes from the column combined with his comments.

Looking at the current situation relating to the tsunami relief and comparing it to John Bolton - well, I think he's right on the mark.

Making News at Newsweek

It appears to have been Michael Isikoff who used one of his super-duper unnamed ex-government sources for his little ditty about Americans putting Korans on toilets and flushing one down the gurgler at Guantánamo, Cuba.

Now that he's gotten the entire Muslim world at the brink of mass murder of all non-Muslims, what will the good Mr Isikoff do?

Well, since he doesn't check sources to start with, I guess it's got nuthin' to do wif him.

I Can't Wait

Apparently Mr. Rolf Harris has been commissioned to paint a portrait of Good Queen Liz.

If that name isn't familiar, he had a song in the 60's called "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport". A real tear-jerker.

The only way I can put this into terms that we 50-Staters can grasp, imagine having a portrait of the Prez done by Frank Zappa.

I'll wait with bated breath.

In Defence of their Secular God

Jacob Heilbrunn.

Los Angeles Times.

On Yalta, FDR, and revisionist history.

I'll either have you spewing coffee from laughter or anger. I can't see too many intelligent humans agreeing with it.

I Bet She's Ugly!

Last Wednesday, the North Carolina state gummit voted to allow beer & wine sales at university arts performances.

One of these distinguished statesmen, Senator Hugh Webster (R-Alamance) asked "Who is this Led Zeppelin and what does she look like?"

Sen. Tony Rand (D-Cumberland) replied, "Would that I could answer that question."

The bill passed the Senate - it now goes to the House. I await the results with great trepidation!

Those Dems Are So Cute!

After all those years with Big Willie and his Little Willie telling everyone that character don't mean shit, it's really a delight to watch Babs (AKC Reg.) Boxer foaming like she's in the throes of distemper over John Bolton's "character."

These people are so f'kin clueless that they're now relying on Larry Flynt to dig up dirt on Bolton's divorce in 1982 or so.

Larry Flynt? To dig up dirt on someone else's character?

I laughed so hard I hurt myself!

Attack of the Smoke Nazis

Over the last couple of days, FoxNews has been talking about the company in Michigan that will fire anyone caught smoking - anytime, anywhere. As you can see by this, it’s really old news, but I have some serious reservations about this.

Weyco Corp. says that their reason for firing anyone who smokes - even at home - is because of their "wellness" programs and their desire to lower their health insurance costs.

Bull. Shit.

Forget for the moment that smokers make up the last minority in this country that are not only discriminated against, but are outright vilified with the government’s blessing.

If this company is really serious about it’s "wellness" program, they would:
- Fire workers owning or riding on motorcycles.
- Fire anyone owning a red car (they have more accidents).
- Fire any worker who sky dives.
- Fire any worker who has unprotected sex - with anyone - even if they want to have children.
- Fire any worker who participates in any "extreme sport".
- Fire any worker who races - on foot, on bicycle, or autos (motorcycles are already covered, right?)
- Fire any worker who attends bicycle or motorized races as spectators, as equipment can go into the stands.
- Fire any worker with a chronic injury or sickness that requires long-term care.

This is not a comprehensive list - I’m sure the insurance companies have tables showing what physical or genetic disabilities will cause the biggest drain on their insurance claims.

Or is it just about fucking over the smokers again? The "Rights of the Minority"? Kiss my wrinkled old hairy ass.

These asses talk about how people ‘choose’ to smoke. I ‘chose’ to smoke over 40 years ago. There ain’t been any f’kin choice involved in it ever since.

al Anbar Province

I just read Col. Ollie North's report from Iraq, and it's a damn shame that - simply because of his name - no one in the Lib/Dem/Soc/Commie community would ever look at his writings.

Basically what he's saying is that what we're doing in alQaim and other places near the Syrian is almost a re-run of Fallujah. We and the Iraqi's are cleaning out the same kind of human garbage.

One thing I'd like to know is - what the hell ever happened to the Kurds? They were supposed to be these shit-hot fighters who wanted to get Saddam and his ilk out, but when Mosul and other places in the north were hit, the Kurds seem to have just disappeared. This op by the Syrian border would seem to be perfect for them.

Back to the good Colonel - I have no idea how many trips he's made to the sandbox, but he's there often. When he's there, he does the protocol thing with the Generals, etc., but he also spends an inordinate amout of time with the grunts.

I like that in a man.

Says it All, Really

With apologies to Wiley of Non Sequitur.

I Am Ashamed

I will turn in my VRWC Secret Decoder Ring directly.

I just read a column by Donald Kaul. And (barring one sentence) I agreed with it.

I feel so dirty. Even the DevilDog refuses to hump my leg and just pisses on it instead.

Donnie today is having a giggle over Homeland Insecurity's web site, ready.gov, where graphics are displayed about what actions you should take in the event of a Nuclear Blast. One of those show a blast going off about half a city block from you, and it suggests that you go around the next corner.

Works for me I guess.

It also recommends that, should you have time, get in your car and get the hell outta Dodge. Great. Like gridlock isn't bad enough in normal circumstances.

Kaul's next section goes on to talk about how some folks are worried that, since we're now fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq, we'd have real problems fighting on a third front if necessary. Of course, that also translates to a fourth front or fifth ... ...

He recommends that, until we can get the troop numbers up and we free some capital, we just have the future belligerents take a number and wait.

His closing quote? "In the meantime, we can all take comfort that we definitely will not be blown up by an airborne old lady with a nuclear bomb in her shoe."

We Have A Winner!!

In an incredibly tight, hotly contested decision, we have a winner of the Vidkun Quisling Memorial Dildo!

The suspense was spine tingling, keeping us on the edge of our seats, and for a moment it looked like the award might have to be withheld this year, but at the last minute George Voinovich of Ohio used his magical, Jeffords-like skills to keep the trophy for a second time!

He used his tongue in ways that'd leave a $25.00 whore in tears as he ripped into John Bolton. The only thing he forgot was that not one of the "charges" brought against Mr Bolton have been substantiated.

He was so damn good that "Sen. Joe Biden of Delaware seemed taken aback at Voinovich's remarks, saying what he had prepared to say would be 'redundant and not as eloquent.' "

Should Good 'Ol George be able to slip it in one more time, the award will be retired and it will be his to keep throughout all eternity.

I always thought I was a shifty bastard, but, By George, you've earned this! Wear it in good health!

California, Then & Now

Do you know what happened this week in 1850?

California became a state.
The state had no electricity.
The state had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gun fights in the street.

So, basically, it was just like California today, only the women had real breasts.

Thanks, Ron

Fat Is As Fat Does

For several years now, it's been difficult to see or read any news without an item about "our obese children." Yep - we sure got some fatties waddling around out there. What's the cure? Why, sue the food companies!

I grew up in the Chicago area - those of you from other areas insert your own specialities.

We had McDonalds and Burger King. We also had Italian beefs, meatball sandwiches, pizza and the best hot dogs in the world.

We had coffee shops that had great burgers and fries. We had grills that served them as well.

We had Nehi's, Cokes and all the rest of the sodas, as well as shakes and malts.

Bubble gum and candy bars abounded.

We didn't have the problem of obesity - hell, there wern't that many fat kids to start with. And I bet you know why, don't you?

Every spare minute we had was spent running our asses off - baseball, football - hockey in the winter. Get Mom to take you somewhere? Not likely! You rode your bike or walked. If it was really out of your neighborhood, you took a bus or the El.

None of this was organized - it was all spur-of-the-moment stuff. The point is we stayed active. We didn't have computers or video games and you know what? We didn't miss them for a second.

The food didn't cause this obesity "crisis" in our kids or grandkids. Letting them sit and do nothing is the reason.

If you love your kids, make sure that they get away from the PS2, computer or TV and get them outside.

If you don't, you know who's responsible, don't you?

S&G - Once More into the Fray

Bolton's nomination comes up again today, and we have several Republicans in the hunt for the prestigeous Vidkun Quisling Memorial Dildo, awarded to the person who can come up with the most creative way of selling out his fellows. Those in the running are Lincoln Chafee, R-R.I., Lisa Murkowski of Alaska, Chuck Hagel of Nebraska, and of course George Voinovich of Ohio, our previous winner. That makes four out of a possible ten, but there's always the possibility of a dark horse, so stay tuned!

In other news, Gertrude & Hortense, in what is believed to be the final outstanding Piedmont Airways flight, made a precision landing outside Washington, D.C. yesterday after receiving a ceremonial escort from the U.S. Air Force. In honor of this momentous occasion, all of Congress turned out to welcome them. According to this article, there seems to have been some consternation expressed by some of our representatives in the Capitol because they didn't get the message earlier.

In an article on health, they ask the question, "Are you at risk of dropping dead?" I think we can all agree at some level that the answer to this burning question is "Yes."

And finally for this missive, I see where someone named Heidi Klum married a Seal in Mexico. I guess Mexico has more lenient inter-species regulations than we do. It is believed said Heidi is already with young, but I wouldn't recommend her going to Canada to whelp.

I Have the Solution!

Let's see if I have this right -

Homeland Security, thru TSA, is more interested in shaking down 80 year-old women and collecting Zippo's (but letting you have 4 books of matches??) at airports than securing our borders, ports, immigration system.

The Socialist Party in Washington is, as per nomal, in lock step, asshole to belly button with no plans or ideas, just the automatic gainsaying of what anyone else says.

The Other party in Washington is too busy trying to convince themselves that they're really Pollyanna, so they can't do anything that might upset the Socialists and make them cry.

The DoD ran their real big reshuffle of forces in the 80's, where they put pretty much entire job specialties into the Reserves. Once they're needed, guess what? Troop numbers drop, reenlistments aren't keeping with what's needed and new recruits and down.

State, CIA and the FBI are still playing "keep away" with each other, we don't (and probably won't) have an ambassador to the U.N.

Wait! I think I know just what to do to fix everything!

Get Judy Garland & Mickey Rooney to put on a show! Oh, wait - she's dead and he ain't far off, is he?

Never mind.

The Winston Cup

From 1971 through the end of 2003, NASCAR had one main sponsor. That sponsor provided the cash and publicity to turn a bunch of 'shine runnin' good ol' boys into a serious sport and an American institution.

Since the France family decided to not only go to Nextel for sponsorship but to try to hide any past links between NASCAR and Winston Salem, it made me proud to see a new museum in town.

Today, the Winston Cup Museum opens it's doors to the public, with cars, photos, sounds, sights and memoribilia from those years.

You can stand in downtown Winston Salem and damn near be able to throw a rock and hit the engine and chassis builders for these cars. Now Charlotte is the only place in the state where the 'left-turn boys' run anymore. Darlington SC, Bristol TN and Martinsville VA are all being threatened with closure, just as what happened to Rockingham NC not long ago.

Nowadays, if you don't have a super speedway tri-oval like Texas or Daytona you don't get a race. This museum shows what it was like when the competitors actually had to race!

Someone Pick This Up, Please?

Our very own Manchurian Candidate, Sen McCain (Turncoat, AZ) is now apparently urging the Republicans to compromise with the Demonrats over the federal judges.

Will someone else pick this one up and run with it? I'm too f'kin pissed to go any further.

"Insurgents?" My Tired Ass!

Yesterday there were something like 60 Iraqis murdered by homicide bombers - not one of the three bombs were aimed at or wounded anyone from the Coalition of the Willing!

In each case the attacks were aimed at young Iraqi men trying to get a job so they can support their families. In one instance, the murderous prick actually got turned away from his target, so instead of driving away and trying again he plowed into a marketplace and detonated.

These are not insurgents, people! These are not some "Iraqi underground" freedom fighters! These are hard core terrorists from all over the world.

Will someone please inform the media and the Democratic Party about this?

Excuse Me?

Have I got this right? By what I've heard and read, is our federal government spending 1.3 Billion dollars to pick up a symbolic amount of the tab we're being nailed with by illegals being here?

One billion for the hospitals over the next few years - that won't even cover what they're doing to the LA hospital system! And $300 million for the jails? Why the fuck are they in our jails to start with?

That 300 million would most likely cover the cost of throwing their sorry asses out of here, and that billion would go a long way to sealing our southern border, instead of tossing a band aid to the unending flow.

Homeland Security? What a fucking joke. It doesn't exist.

Shits & Giggles - The Online Version

All these come from Fox - I looked at CNN and MSNBC but I'd be here all damn day.

First, there's the heartwarming tale of Greenpeace being convicted of violations of environmental laws. It seems that they were carrying over 70,000 gallons of petroleum products without having filed a plan on what to do if it spilled. They also didn't have the proof of financial responsibility if there had been a spill.

Meanwhile, at a clinic in Sweden, researchers claim to have discovered that gay men react to the odor of testosterone more like women do instead of like straight men. Their test group of 36 people gives a really sound, scientific basis for this observation. Next we'll learn that being gay is genetic. Who passes that gene on? Gay men and women work very hard to thin the herd by their very nature, don't they?

A Federal judge in D.C. has blocked the Oil for Fraud documents from getting to our Congress, siding instead with the UN and Volker. It's always nice to know that these federal courts are working for the United States.

On Thursday, the Senate Foreign Relations Committee is again going to vote on Bolton. What's the betting line on who gets to be the Republican's next Quisling?

Finally, from Brit Hume - Clean Air Causes Global Warming!! All that clean air is allowing more sunlight to reach the ground!

And on the Congressional travel front - it now comes out that some of the Democrats who have been trying for a piece of DeLay's ballsack haven't filed the required travel reports for some time. Bobby Rush, a noted Chicago race baiter in the Je$$e Jack$on mold, hasn't filed one since 2000 - he claimed he didn't know he had to.

Isn't that special?

This is a Recording

It's now around 10:30am and it's already pushing 80 degrees outside without a cloud in the sky.

I hear a lawn chair calling my name. I'll be back later - unless, of course, I'm not.

Amuse yourselves - just don't go blind!

Just in Case ...

For anyone out there wondering how I could have a Shits & Giggles without a reference to the Winston Salem Urinal, take heart.

An opinion piece by Ruth Marcus, of the Washington Post, goes into why Jack Abramoff is a lobbyist in a class by himself. Throughout her column, she continually refers to "Tom DeLay and others", but she never, ever says or even hints at who these "others" are - or even their party affiliation.

Gee - I wonder why?

The Late Shits & Giggles

Well, after Ten anyway. On to the "News?"

The Mayor of Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick, is proposing a 2% Fat Tax on take-out meals. He (I think it's a he) is hoping that the people of his fair city won't even notice that this is the last 2% that Detroit's taxation has left people. At least for once the fat tax isn't going to be used for some altruistic reason - the city's going broke and needs the cash!

Just to show how adult and committed they are, scientists in Kansas have boycotted hearings on what to teach and how to teach it when it comes to Evolution vs. Intelligent Design. Instead, the scientists are taking their hubris to "press conferences" where they are saying basically that the hearings aren't listening to anything supporting Evolution. Well, No Shit, Sherlock! You won't go to give them anything! And scientists are supposed to be so f'kin smart? I guess with today's education standards these clowns could have studied English Lit or something for their science degrees.

Meanwhile, in Montgomery County, Maryland, a judge has issued a restraining order against the current sex education syllabus. To me, the best quote comes from Eliza Byard, deputy director for the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network: "It seems that a small number of dissenters in Montgomery County had access to the levers of power to disrupt the process that was initiated by a citizens' advisory committee," Byard said, arguing that the "small number" succeeded in overturning the majority's desires. "It does seem … some very basic underpinnings of our American pluralism is at stake." Why is it that any time the Single Sex Agenda is challenged, it's always by a Minority of the Population? GMAFB!

The New York Times is trying to figure out how they can bolster and/or restore reader confidence in their rag. I have an idea for them to try, but it might be too far-out and radical for them: try reporting facts instead of innuendo, and try to put the opinions and editorials on the OpEd pages every once in a while? Call me crazy.

The Pastor for the North Carolina church who reportedly had members of the congregation tossed because they voted for Kerry looks to have made an "oops." When he invited them all back yesterday, most attended - with their lawyers. Now, IMHO, the pastor was a real shit-fer-brains for either ousting these folks or having them ousted. Having said that, Kerry supporters going to their lawyers as their first option? What a f'kin surprise THAT is!!

Finally, there's two intems that my Blogmother sent me that share a common theme - and require strong stomachs. First, there's the tale of the Junior at Spencer High School in Augusta, Georgia. Kevin Francois didn't hang up on a phone call when a teacher told him to, so he's been suspended for 10 days. The 10-day suspension was issued because Kevin Francois was "defiant and disorderly" and was imposed in lieu of an arrest. Why didn't he hang up? He'd been called by his mother, Sgt. 1st Class Monique Bates, who is currently serving in Iraq. Ten days suspension instead of being arrested. Because he didn't hang up on his mother. In Iraq. And these people wonder why we think our educational system is fucked!

The other one really requires a strong stomach, or just walking away from. There's a site out there called "Forsake The Troops" that unfortunately isn't a parody - this walking dildo actually believes every word of it. Please, take my word for it and don't go see for yourself - don't give him the satisfaction of the hits.

And that's the way it were.

Does Anyone Remember?

Ahh, the Stupidity of Youth!

Is there anyone out there who remembers a board game called "Pass Out?" It was an actual game where landing on different squares (or drawing cards) determined how many drink you (or your opponents) had to take. I can't remember if that was only in Australia or other-wheres and other-whens.

Another game that I remember from Germany was something called Snap (I think), where several people sat around a LARGE bottle of Black Cat and started counting, going around the circle. On any number either containing a seven or divisible by seven, instead of saying the number that player would say "Snap" and the counting would go back the way it came.

There were only one or two times I ever saw the counting get past 80 - for fairly obvious reasons!

Anyone? Or have my remaining synapses both said "fuck it" and quit on me?

To All Moms

To:

All Gold Star Mothers,
All Blue Star Mothers,
All Mothers on Active Duty,
All Grand (and Great) Mothers,
All Godmothers,
All Blogmothers,
All Soon-to-Be Mothers, and
All categories I've missed

I wish you a Happy, Peaceful and Joyous Mother's Day.

May all ingrate children take the time to visit with, call, or at least send a card to their Moms - or Mums if you're from Australia.

Addendum

While I was at the Winston Salem Warthogs game last night, I found out that on Memorial Day, all active duty servicemen & women, as well as all veterans, are going to be admitted to the game free. They're also going to have a pretty major service at the game.

Oh, how I love living in the South!

An Evening With Wally

Today (and possibly tomorrow) is a recovery day for me. For a very good reason.

Last night was Eldest Granddaughter's reward for a reading program they had in school. She got free admission to the baseball game, free hot dog and soda, and free (and very chintzy) souviners. Of course, those accompanying her had to pay, so they didn't miss out on much!

So two granddaughters, my girl-child and I were off to the Warthogs game. Sitting on the metal bleachers for well over three hours engrossed in a real pitcher's duel! Final score? 13-10 the 'Hogs lost to the Potomac Nationals, the Class A team here in the Carolina League of the D.C. team. I guess if I really stretched it I could claim that it was an act of patriotism that the home team lost. Even having Wally and Wilbur Warthogs on the sidelines couldn't help - and yes, they have people dressed up like walking warthogs!

Before the game they had all the 'readers' on the field, then there were fireworks after the game (not too bad for a Friday night in Winston Salem). They turned the lights on after the "blow off" and let all the kids on the field to run the bases.

All in all, a fun evening, but I really should have gone home by the third inning. The problem was that I was the driver, so when I left we all left.

The things we do for our grandchildren.

I also heard that some clown named Hairy Weed called the President "A Loser" when talking to a bunch of kids, but that wouldn't have happened, would it?

Shits & Giggles

From the Winston Salem Urinal:

"House criticizes Senate's tax cut for the rich" is the headline. This is the NC state budget, and it will eliminate an upper-income tax bracket for $200,00 a year earners. It will also tax candy, increase cigarette tax eight-fold and cut $53 million from the Medicaid for the blind, old and disabled.

How freakin' dare they? Oh, I forgot to mention - that's the Democrat-controlled Senate that passed this budget.

A woman Army General, Janis Karpinski, has been reduced in rank to Colonel by President Bush as an outcome of Abu Ghraib investigations. Of course, she's a scapegoat - just ask her!

I see where Col David Hackworth died in Tijuana, Mexico, of bladder cancer. There has got to be a story there, but I'm not gonna touch it!

Pat Oliphant is his usual subtle self today. This Lib/Dem/Soc/Commie "cartoonist" today has a group of angry apes with axes going through PBS. A woman who appears to be a secretary (sexist stereotyping?) is on the phone saing, "Mr Moyers, some conservative gentlemen to see you - something about balance and liberal bias." Can you say Fucked In The Head, boys & girls? Good! I knew you could!

Former Army Drill Sergeant Earl Richmond Jr. went to sleep last night - and I'm giving 20-1 that he don't wake up. This former human dirtball murdered, tortured and raped a 24 year-old woman soldier, the same to a 27 year old woman - oh, and by the way murdered that woman's eight year-old son and seven year-old daughter.

Finally (for now), there's a story about a house fire last night. The house is described as follows, "The house is a 1 1/2-story brick structure with blue siding about a quarter-mile down a gravel path from the road." I want to know what the blue siding is doing a quarter mile down the path? And since the story goes on to say the house was demolished, wouldn't it be more accurate to start that quote, "The house was ..."??

The Adventures of Blogmama

Looks like Indigo's been through the wars. She had a trip to one of them "imaging" centers for a mammogram and - well, go read it. It's funny!

And to all you guys who think a mammogram is no big deal, picture this: Place your scrotum on a cold metal plate. Then have another plate come down on top until said scrotum is about 1/2" high. Now, I know some guys that'd jump at the chance, but they ain't wrapped real tight.

Texas Cheerleader Massacree

Dallas Cowgirls. Debbie Does Dallas. Now we have High School Cheerleaders being lewd & lascivious in public.

Or, in the immortal words of Mark Knopfler in "I Want My MTV" - "Look at that mama - she got it stickin in the camera!"

Yeah, a lot of these cheerleaders are out of line - I was in Orlando recently when teams of High School "Dance" teams were competing. The outfits they wore around the Disney parks would make a dead man turgid. I have no idea who, if anyone, chaperoned those girls, but the language left me impressed, and that takes some work!

The real problem is who decides what is and isn't acceptable behavior or clothing? I feel fairly comfortable that a member of the Amish community may have different standards than I do. Who wins? Or do they specifically spell out in the legislation the movements "blow-by-blow?"

This should be fun to watch.

He Might Be On To Something

I just read a column by Larry Elder about the latest restrictive - some might say draconian - laws and corporate policies against smokers.

As one of those filthy people, I just had to read this - and what a wonderful thing it is!

The Smoke Nazis have apparently overlooked something - the vast majority of Democrats are not White Bleeding Hearts with copious bank accounts! This may come as a shock, but they are mostly the "underprivleged" who worship at the altar of KennedyClinton. And guess what? They are the largest single group of smokers in this country!

By refusing to hire or keep employed anyone who smokes - even in their own home - these places are discriminating against the poor and disadvantaged!!

I couldn't have planned this out better if I'd tried!

They're Makin' it Up!

A grenade or two go off outside a 14-story building in New York. This building contains many foreign and international offices. One of these is the British Consulate.

The immediate jump to conclusion? It must be a political statement about the British election!

Of course, it could also have been someone pissed about a sandwich he got at that building. Some poor schmuck was being taken into the Police Station around the corner about this time (that happens at Police Stations - they bring perps in) so The Media start touting said schmuck as the "Mad Bomber!!"

I think I gotta go puke again.

Wot Th'ell?

I just saw a supposed doctor make one of the most damning admissions I think I've ever heard!

Dr. Whatsisname was in charge of the Fireman in Buffalo, NY, who became aware after ten years being "one notch above a persistent vegatative state". The doctor actually said that when he heard about this, he didn't believe it until the family brought him a DVD they'd made of the patient!

Excuse the f'k outta me? He wouldn't get off his fat ass to check on a patient until he was shown a DVD by the family?

If that's not an admission of incompetence I've never heard one!

I'll bet the family is just relieved that Judge Greer doesn't have jurisdiction in New York!!

I Are Humbled

Once again, you people have proved to me that:

you don't have a home to go to,
you certainly don't have a life, and
you all have way too much time on your hands.

Yesterday marked ten months of my leaving a trail of droppings here, and just a bit ago I/WE hit the 10,000 hit mark. Obviously I must be doing something right to get so many of you to come back again and again - either that or you're really into pain.

This thing has been flown by the seat of my pants since day one. I can't even say that I particularly copied anyone else's style - this just seems to work for me.

Over this time there's been some rough spots, but it's still fun, so I guess I'll be here for a while yet! Thanks, everyone! And especially thank you to my Blogmother, Indigo. None of this would have happened without your pushing and shoving!

My Earth, Not Yours!

Some stories are just so good that I have real problems trying to embellish them. This is just such a story.

You knew that this was going to happen, didn't you?

Plea Bargain? Not F'kin Likely!

Well, well, well - I see where PFC England's attempt to cop a plea on the "smoking in prison while holding a leash" charge has been denied by the court.

One would be led by this development to believe that the court is going to nail her ugly ass to the wall.

Just me, but I think it couldn't happen to a nastier, self-serving piece of shit.

You Think YOU Got it Tough?

A handy little chart has been released by a group called Save the Children USA called the "State of the World's Mothers 205." This ranks countries by various standards such as infant mortality and access to such things as health care, education, food and water.

Out of 110 countries, I only found listings for the Top and Bottom Ten (or so - there were ties), so (drum roll please) here's the best and worst:

THE MOTHERS' INDEX

Top 10 Countries:

1. Sweden
2. Denmark
3. Finland
4. Austria
5. Germany
6. Netherlands
7. Norway
8. Canada
9. Australia
10. United Kingdom
(The United States ranks 11th)
--
Bottom 10 Countries:

100. Eritrea, Cambodia - tied
102. Gambia
103. Nepal
104. Mauritania
105. Congo, Democratic Republic of the
106. Yemen
107. Chad
108. Ethiopia
109. Mali; Burkina Faso - tied

Come on, now! There's places worse than Yemen or Ethiopia? Talk about "My life really sucks!"

I know, someone out there will think I shouldn't be having fun with this, but if you can't screw it, eat it or play with it, what damn good is it?

Placeholder

This morning is being devoted to my Domestic Diva routine. Hopefully I'll have some more Shits & Giggles for you in a couple of hours.

Watch this space.

Update on Alicia Hardin

About the Black woman charged with hate crimes in Illinois - there's been a couple of developments in this. One good source is this from Urban Therapy, but for a really good treatment of the whole thing, you can't beat LaShawn Barber.

Looks like she just keeps digging instead of trying to get out of the hole.

As for the Great Camel Cull in the Australian Outback, I've found nothing since the original announcement. I'll keep looking.

I've Been Thinking

And it hurts!

I was just scrolling back through some of the articles I've reported on in previous "Shits & Giggles" or "Newsworthy" postings, and it got me curious as to what happened with them. I'm not sure if I'll have much success, since some of the stories were borderline P.I. Shit, they were very f'kin Politically Incorrect!

Like the Black woman in Illinois charged with a hate crime, or that Great Camel Cull in Australia (you'd think that R. J. Reynolds would be able to use that somehow in their advertising, wouldn't you?).

Anyway, I might try to hunt them up to see if they just quietly died - or I might just get bored and say f'k it.

And to anyone who's interested - back around the 25th of April I mentioned that I was finally getting my head examined. Well, the results are in. They said they "didn't find anything." Then they tried to charge me a search fee.

Sick bastards!

Guffaws & Chortles Abound!

If you find yourself in dire need for laughter til the tears come, may I recommend for your edification, Norman Liebmann's version of "Kofi Annan and the 'We Are The World' Gang (an update)."

In this you will be instructed in the usage, care and feeding of the Security Council, the UN in General, the Delegates, Third World-ism, Kofi Annan-ism, Islam and the possibility of pulling the plug and letting it all run down the shitter into the East River.

He's got lots of other stuff there in his archives - but if you go to graze, Be Warned! Do not have liquids or small items of food near as they have a habit of being nasally ejected!

Laugh? Thought I'd Die!

If you haven't already been over and read the latest Asman Observer about the Saudi's new tolerance for other religions, you just gotta see this! The coffee will fly!

Meanwhile, Brit Hume has some thoughts about Congressional filibusters, knee-jerk f'kin ignorance on the part of a university president (who would've f'kin thought it?) some Democratic Dicks who can't keep a story - or a face - straight, and a warning - don't take your burritos to town!

It's all great giggle material. Nothing to shoot the coffee over, but good giggles.

The Son of Shits & Giggles - The Sequel

In the wake of all the recent child abductions, the state of North Carolina is coming up with a novel approach. The Democratic-controlled state legislature is trying to pass a bill that will cut the sentences for most felonies. Now, this won't effect first degree murder or the lowest level felonies, but those in the middle like first degree rape or child abuse inflicting serious injury - those will get the lighter sentences. I have no idea how I can legally respond to this.

In the beautiful town of Mocksville, NC, there's a new Chief of Police in town. And he has the best credentials I've seen in a while - he used to be a director of Animal Control. Perfect!

In an unpublished study, a perfesser in Alberta, Canada says that parents take better care of the pretty children than they do of the ugly ones. Well, duh! We're talking Canada here! They're trying to selectively breed a Master Race up there!

Utah, in a brave move, has decided that, fuck a bunch of No Child Left Behind, we'll leave ours behind if we damn well please!

The parents of a 21 year-old girl who was killed by a pepper pellet fired by the police when she was rioting after the Red Sux beat the Wankees last year got 5.1 Million Dollars from the city. That's way too much to be paying for rioters, IMHO.

And then we have the OpEd page of the winston salem urinal. The first editorial tries desperately to make a distinction between the parents of the little rascals trying to eat more of our tax dollars in the tertiary school system and the little rascals themselves. The parents? "Illegal Immigrants." The kiddies? "Undocumented Immigrants." The reason? The kiddies just got dragged along when Mom & Pop decided to bust the border. Sorry - I ain't buying it.

Then we have something from the "Media General News Service" called Marsha Mercer, who says the president is saying we have to destroy social security in order to save it. Uh Huh. Yep.

On the following page tho, there's an article complaining about how the younger generations aren't saving enough for their retirement. Well, of course they're bloody not! The Dems and the MSM have spent the last five months telling them that investing their own money is a bad thing!

Your turn.

Looks Like Blogmother's Better

Either that or she's faking it - she's already got a post up today that has some fantastic reading in it. And if you're a Marine, it's required reading, so get over there NOW and check it out.

That is all, I'll be in the area all day.

The Perfect Democrat

Who the fuck is this Jon-Christopher Bua, a "Demoncratic Strategist", who was on Fox this morning?

As is normal when the discussion revolves around politics, Fox has someone from both sides to answer questions. But this morning, this Bua turd's contributions to the topics consisted of absolute crap!

When the subject was Social Security, he said that President Bush should take a tip from the woman in Georgia and run away from the White House, because that would make America better. The topic turned to Laura Bush's jokes showing a human side, so his response was that it was a pathetic attempt to do "something" since Bush's approval ratings are going down the gurgler.

At first I was just flat-out pissed-off with this ignoramous, but the more I thought about it, he really was the quintessential representative for the Democratic party. Change the subject, shit on individuals and sit back smugly and say, "See how smart I am."

Gee - I wonder why there aren't more demoncrats in leadership positions? Hard to understand, right?

The Straight Dope on Calipari

If anyone is interested in the official report of the Commie Bitch and her car getting shot to shit, including the Italian agent Calipari being killed, go here.

If the report is no longer available or no longer unclassified, let me know. We can work something out.