HQMC Press Release?

Subject: President Bush May Send Up To 5 Marines For French Assistance

President Bush has authorized the Joint Chiefs to begin drawing up a battle plan to pull France's ass out of the fire again.

Facing an apparent overwhelming force of up to 400 pissed off teenagers Mr. Bush doubts France's ability to hold off the little pissants. "Hell, if the last two world wars are any indication, I would expect France to surrender any day now", said Bush.

Joint Chiefs head, Marine Gen. Peter Pace, warned the President that it might be necessary to send up to 5 marines to get things under control. The general admitted that the 5 marines may be overkill but he wanted to get this thing under control within 24 hours of arriving on scene.

He stated he was having a hard time finding even one marine to help those ungrateful bastards out for a third time but thought that he could persuade a few women in the 3d Underwater Mess Kit Repair Battalion to do the job before they went on pregnancy leave.

President Bush asked Gen. Pace to get them out of there as soon as possible after order was restored.

He also reminded Gen. Pace to make sure the marines did not take soap, razors, or deodorant with them because the least they stand out the better.

(a tip of the starched utility cover to Wayne Szczek for this)

Happy Birthday, Marines! 230 years old, and the older we get the better we were!