S&G for a Sunday

While watching some college ball yesterday, I got another lesson in Athletic Anatomy 101 - besides having two groins (someone pulled their right groin), they also have two jaws! One of them injured his left jaw! Who knew?

With sports in general, I can kinda understand why players have their name on the jerseys, since it's an ego trip. But why would any of them - football, baseball - any of them - need to have initials on them? Hell, one Denver player has his whole name on it. Can't they remember their number? The classic for me is the Atlanta Braves, where Chipper Jones and Andruw Jones have their initials on their backs. Haven't they noticed that they aren't even the same race?

The next time those pirates off the coast of Somalia attack a ship, I have a suggestion. Heave to, let them pull alongside, then start dropping DuPont Lures into their little boats. Should slow down the number of repeat offenders.

I heard that someone has discovered that kimchee - a fermented concotion of cabbage, chilis and God knows what - is having an effect against bird flu. I've had kimchee. Give me the flu, thanks.

Willy Clinton says Hil would be a better president than he was because she's more mature. I have four year olds running around who are more mature that him. Besides, he says she'll have fewer distractions. That's because she'll be getting fewer blow jobs in the Oval Office.

Have you see those ads for the History Channel's show on the Crusades? "What would you do for a belief? Give up your home? Your family? Your life?" Don't look now, but that describes every one of our service men and women.

It looks like the Israelis are falling all over themselves apologizing for the death of a 12 year old who was shot by the Army. Just because he was in the middle of a running battle with the Paleostunteds and this imbecile pulled out a toy M-16 and drew a bead on one of the soldiers. Nope, I just can't understand why the poor little choirboy got shot.

It's good to see how instant replay is taking off in college football. So what if it takes the human factor out of the game? It's much more important to get the call right - especially at places like SBC Field and Papa John Stadium - and at Vegas.

Finally, yesterday I saw the incontrovertible proof that the end is nigh. Forget hurricanes. Tidal waves? Pah! Tornados? Fergeddabout it! Kansas beat Nebraska, North Carolina beat Boston College and NC State beat Florida State - on the same weekend!