Obnoxious Droppings

A Former Sgt in the US Marines, US Army and Australian Federal Police - With an Attitude Problem - Looking at the Shits & Giggles of life from a Quasi-Conservative Point of View * * * WARNING! STRONG LANGUAGE FOLLOWS! * * *

14 July, 2005

The Bill of Rights?

People wonder how we could ever protect ourselves against a bombing by home-grown terrorists like happened in London. Perhaps if our Bill of Rights was restored to mean what it was written to mean we would stand a chance. For example:

Amendment I. Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof (Christian religions are exempted from this); or abridging the freedom of speech (unless that speech might be interpreted as being hurtful or demeaning or hateful), or of the press (unless you print a treasonous article and are hiding the identity of the source); or the right of the people peaceably to assemble (unless you are a male organization - or worse, a Boy Scout), and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances (OK - I think this one still works).

Amendment II. A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed (this right no longer exists - see New York's Sullivan Act).

Amendment III. No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law (this amendment is just as vital and fresh as the day it was written!).

Amendment IV. The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures (unless the police want some DNA or blood for DUI testing), shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment V. No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself (except when DNA, blood or breath are needed by the police), nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use (unless a better tax base can be located), without just compensation (this can be defined as "nothing").

Amendment VI. In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed (unless that jury isn't multicultural, in which case the verdict is voided), which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him (unless said witness is a red-light camera or other item of this type); to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.

Amendment VII. In Suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law (another amendment as vital and necessary as the day it was written).

Amendment VIII. Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted (insulting or demeaning language is construed as cruel and unusual).

Amendment IX. The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people (unless we want to).

Amendment X. The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people (oh, how we laughed!!).

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