Obnoxious Droppings

A Former Sgt in the US Marines, US Army and Australian Federal Police - With an Attitude Problem - Looking at the Shits & Giggles of life from a Quasi-Conservative Point of View * * * WARNING! STRONG LANGUAGE FOLLOWS! * * *

01 December, 2004

Small Boys

If you find these funny, you either have been there or you don't have kids. If the latter, consider the following from an anonymous woman in Austin, Texas, as birth control:

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4
inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too
late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old
boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same
sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not
like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.

7 Comments:

At 10:03 PM, Blogger unixlinux said...

Nice blog. Check out my cat scratch fever blog.

 
At 9:14 AM, Blogger Tim said...

This is an interesting blog ! I'm bookmarkarkimg you and will re-visit :o)

I also have a swimming pool chemicals site. It pretty much covers
swimming pool chemicals related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)

 
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