San Francisco - Don't Feed the Animals
About that tiger attack at the zoo - if there was enough time for police to show up and kill the tiger, there must have been time for vets with trank guns to show up.
No, I'm not a PETA Prick, but there are so few Siberian tigers left in the world - in the low hundreds spread over thousands of square miles - that there must have been a way to distract the cat while pumping it full of nighty nighty drugs.
Siberians are the largest cats in the world, and are being killed off so the Japanese can have (and this is no joke) Tiger Penis Soup. I hope they send this cat's scrotum over there so the Japanese can "tea bag" it in their noodles.