Dumb Drunk - But Not Stupid!

From my Blogmother:


Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces
himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a
couple of aspirin and a glass of water on the side table. He
sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean
and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees that it is
in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the
house. He takes the aspirin and notices a note on the
table.

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go
shopping. Love You!" So he goes to the kitchen and sure
enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. Marty asks, "Son,
what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came
home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture
, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when
you stumbled into the door." Confused, Marty asks, "So, why
is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the
table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom
, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady
leave me alone! I'm married!"

Self-induced hangover -- $100.00

Broken furniture -- $2,000.00

Breakfast -- $10.00

Saying The Right Thing While Drunk-PRICELESS